A year has passed... and I'm a hundred years old - FLEH

June 10, 2021by shawqey0

Saudi blogger Nasser Al-Nasser

As everyone knows it is a year, in astronomy calculations it is 365 days long, but it was certainly not the case for me! 2017 was a hundred years worth to me.
I feel as though I have grown up for decades, I feel that I have learned lessons that I would have needed tens of years to learn, I feel that the angle of view of this world has changed for me 180 degrees, I now look at the world in a completely different way, I don’t know if this is good or bad, but what I know him is that I had enough experiences in 2017 to change my perspective on a lot of things.

On the level of life
My life routine was based on her presence, on speaking to her, on caring for her, on her tender gaze, on her sincere invitations in her prayers, on the kiss of her pure head, on the touch of her tender hand. Sickness weighed on her for years and changed her routine, but she was steadfast, optimistic and on the verge of life, how not when she taught us not to grieve or not to suffer, and that every path is for what was created for him. Until 2017 came and burdened her with this disease with successive diseases, very difficult times for a few months, which I and my brothers went through between daily hospital reviews, hospitalization for weeks, operating rooms, intensive and intermediate care rooms, emergency rooms, health isolation rooms, all of this and You are watching the dearest thing in your world fade away in front of you and you have no power and no strength except through supplication and supplication, but it is the fate that is inevitable, God willing, that my mother takes my beloved next to him in 2017 so that this year will be a turning point in my life, I lost my dearest What I have, I lost her in circumstances that I desperately needed, the pressures of life and work were the most intense and her prayers and warm words were always my refuge in such circumstances, my only consolation is that she traveled next to her Lord to rest from the trouble of this life and the weight of those weekly appointments For hospitals and to live soft and blessed in paradise, God willing.
A harsh, painful, traumatic experience, although she, may God have mercy on her, prepared for her departure in the last two months, but once you live that reality in reality, it is an unbelievable feeling, a very heavy load and you feel that you will face what you have left in this life without a mother. Yes, I have grown up, I got married, I have children and a wife who fill my life with me, but I remain that child who longs to sit with his mother, to kiss her, to hear her voice, to her frequent calls to check my current situation in such a cold atmosphere, by losing the mother closes a door of reconciliation, I touched that The reality of his reality in my work, which was afflicted by the problems and obstacles that befell him as soon as she entered the intensive care unit in her last weeks, when her tongue stopped praying for me, problems poured out on me from all sides, the only lesson that I may pass on to you, dear reader of these lines It is: If your mother is alive, then take pleasure in her feelings and do not hesitate at any moment to be by her side and to work on repaying a small vow from what she faced in this life to make you what you are, and if she passed away, then you are the one who does not cease She did it because of him, be the good boy who calls her.

In terms of work
Administrative changes within the work team at the beginning of the year brought with it features of some of the difficulties that I might face, I did not anticipate the events and continued my work as it should, how did I not? Last year I won the Circle Of Excellence Award that is given to the best performing employees at the level of Microsoft Corporation globally, so I should have continued to work at a higher pace as the ceiling of expectations of me had risen in front of the local and regional officials in the company. These changes encountered the deterioration of my mother’s health and I had to be absent for several days to accompany her in the care and operations rooms, apart from the deteriorating psychological state that I lived in Those days, but it seems that the new administration saw this as an opportunity to pour oil on the fire, so I did not hesitate to raise bad reports about my right and my commitment to work, smashing any considerations for any humanitarian conditions! These reports passed unnoticed thanks to the confidence of the regional administration in what my name carries in the positive legacy of the company, I learned here that there is no permanent enemy and no permanent friend, not only in politics but even in work, hatred, intrigue and conspiracies may come even from the closest people. To you, the person’s closeness to you and the integrity of his apparent intentions may be because he does not have any authority over you, but as soon as he has that authority, he grows out his fangs and starts punching the punches of hatred for you whenever he has the opportunity, so beware your enemy once, and beware Your friend a thousand times!
Days and months pass after I return to work after my mother’s death, may God have mercy on her, and the time has come to leave the company to join a new job, in harsh, bad and “inhumane” conditions. Co-workers and those I spent with them in 4 years refuse to spend more time than I spent with my family. Except that they make the situation harsher by that cold, dull farewell devoid of all that we are accustomed to in the company of celebrating the departed person in honor of him for his achievement and for his time, there is nothing wrong, this is also a new lesson that I do not place my hopes on anyone, and that I always lower the ceiling of my expectations on Personal and practical level.
Do not expect anything from one of them, if you do well, do what is dictated by your conscience and your duty, and do not wait for a word of thanks, a touch of gratitude, or even a “e-mail” of appreciation and affection, as my mother, may God have mercy on her, said, “Everyone works according to his origin.” Certainly, I am not In the field of work to change someone’s morals or behavior.
When I stand on this last day of 2017 and look behind me, I see a year full of turning points, crammed with problems, its general characteristic of wounds and hardships, in which I lived the meaning of loss, the meaning of frustration, the meaning of disappointment with friends.
But I choose to carry with me for 2018 those lessons and lessons that will definitely make of me another person, a better person, someone my mother would have been proud of.

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